The magical num pad

This is a more of a confession.

As the person in charge of the company's email accounts and a few other software, I often get calls about lost passwords and other login issues. One time a store supervisor reported that her password wasn't working. Since this was a recently installed workstation that I hadn't put my hands on, it didn't have remote access enabled, so I had to physically go.

Once there, I asked the woman to try to login, so I could see if there was an error message or anything I could use to diagnose the problem. Now, most of the people here absolutely cannot be trusted with a secure password, so they just have their name plus a string of numbers as the password. It's not like they deal with sensitive data, so this isn't a big issue anyway. When she typed the password I immediately noticed that 1) she wasn't looking at the screen, 2) as she typed, the number string wasn't captured, and 3) she was using the numeric pad for the numbers, which was disabled. But I didn't tell her, oh no. Instead, I made a few flashy "magical" hand gestures, finishing with me pressing the num lock key and then I asked her to try again.

She was astonished when it worked.

Many people here seem to think IT people are some kind of wizards, and that our mere presence fixes problems, so I decided to play the part for once. I enabled remote access and left, without telling her the secret.

"The system" and the ghostly smoke

Where I work, everything that runs on anything that can be vaguely classified as a computer is "The system." Sometimes, the hardware itself is also "The system."

Can't print? It must be "The system" messing up.
Forgot your password? Well, you can't access "The system" now.
Slow Internet? Better call the IT people so they fix "The system."
Your monitor, scanner, telephone, calculator or digital watch is misbehaving? "The system" is doing it again.

Anyway, this is one of my favorite events.

(Phone call)

Me: "IT department."
Woman: "THERE'S SMOKE COMING OUT FROM THE SYSTEM!"
Me: *Internally WTFs*

Apparently, there was smoke coming out from a server. We went as quickly as we could to the location that reported this, expecting the worst. When we arrived, everything was working perfectly fine. We checked the hardware and found no signs of fire, smoke, overheating or electric problems, nothing burned or seemed damaged; the server didn't even turn off. The supervisor who reported this claimed that, after the smoke came out, "the system" got faster than before. It happened about a year ago and the server is still fine.

This will puzzle me forever.

Home issues

The management decided to put TVs in the store to promote our products and such. One of them was reportedly not working. Since we're IT, of course we fix TVs. Tech support guy went to check. TV was off. Not unplugged, not misconfigured, not trying to get a signal from an unavailable input or channel. Just off.

Another time and from another location, a phone was reportedly not working "for months", which hadn't been previously reported to us. But since we're IT, of course we fix phones. And since I'm in charge of the computer network, of course I have to go. The line was unplugged from the phone. The line was right there next to the phone, it just wasn't plugged into it. They didn't plug the phone for months, because they didn't know how. A simple regular, home telephone.

At least one time I got a call from a certain location reporting that "nothing works". They had a blackout.

Sometimes I wonder how these people live at home. What do they do if one of their devices, say, a microwave, is unplugged? Do they just stop using it forever? It's just fascinating.

"Check machine"

(Phone call, 7AM)

Me: "IT department"
Man: "Hello. Could you come and check the check machine?"
(He's talking about the station with a fingerprint scanner we use to check in to work)
Me: "What seems to be the problem?"
Man: "The monitor won't turn on"
Me: "Ok, I'll be there in a minute."
(This isn't strictly my job, but I'm usually the only one in the IT department this early in the morning and people need to properly check in, otherwise it's chaos for HR. So, I go.)
Man: "See? It suddenly shut down and won't turn on."
Me: "... It's unplugged."
Man: "What? Where?"
(I point to the clearly visible contact on the wall with the plug barely hanging, about to fall off. I plug it back in and the monitor turns on.)
Man: "Oh."
Me: "Yep"

"I lost my account"

(Phone call)

Me: "IT department"
Man: "I lost my account"
(People use three, sometimes four different accounts for email, Skype and other software in the company. Also, he doesn't give me his name, area, or anything.)
Me: "... hello. What account are you talking about?"
Man: "I can't get in"
Me: "Where?"
Man: "My mail"
Me: "Ok, let me see..."
(By this time I recognize the voice and look for his username and password, since I am in charge of email accounts)
Me: "Your account is _____@___"
Man: "Yes"
Me: "Your password is _____"
Man: "But what's the one I use to log in?"
Me: "... It will ask for your username first, then your password"
Man: "What's the password?"
Me: "... Your password is _____"
Man: "No, that's not it, I need the one I use to log in"
Me: "what?"
Man: "I need the account to log in"
Me: "... let me open a remote connection to your PC"
(I remotely connect to his PC and login with the username+password I gave him)
Man: "It logged in!"
Me: "Yes it did"
Man: "What was the password?"
Me: "_____"
Man: "Ok thanks"

I'm still not sure what he meant.

Introduction

My job is not tech support. But since I do work with computers, and most of the people I work with are apparently time-travelers from the 40's, they assume I'm a tech wizard who can solve and fix anything and everything related to anything and everything with buttons. And boy, do they need help. Surely, you know how it is already.

As you might expect, this blog will be dedicated to the more interesting cases I see and hear about from my co-workers.